It appears the overall theme of my weekend, was encountering ignorance. I'll never understand the level of hatred that exists within some people. Sunday morning, after I received a glowing review from a relative about my Blog, some1 anonymously posted the nastiest, most hateful comment as well. In fact, it was so unpleasant; initially I couldn’t even think of an appropriate response. However, today shadows a different story. By now I understand, that if it's not 1 thing, it’s another. I can try to remain positive, & spiritually grounded; but the irrefutable truth, is that some folks really need to find god, or some hard form of therapy. Why do you “get off” on fucking with people? I’ve heard of dysfunctional hobbies; but damn! It takes a truly sick individual to plot & think of spiteful things to say. . . it’s not to suggest that we don’t all have an uglier side to us, guilty of imagining unpleasant things. But if you’re sooo bitter; write to me. I’ll try and muster some tasteful response on my Blog; because insulting me on “The Arrival: Memoirs of A Diva”, is certainly NOT acceptable. This is my foundation, Damn it! Attacking me like some uninformed, shyt head does nothing but reflect poorly on you, as well as increase my writing material in the process…You keep that in mind, the next you’re over whelmed with some “positive feedback”. This message is also reserved for the person who anonymously emailed me on Thursday. I think we can all agree how cowardly it is that you feel compelled to keep your names & faces hidden. As a Diva, when I have something to say. . .There’s no question who it’s coming from!
Saturday, I dealt with the worst of homophobic car salesmen, in Flatbush Brooklyn. From the moment I stepped through the door, I felt a distasteful vibe that was both cruel & unwelcoming. To confirm my suspicions, I approached the receptionist & asked if she would call someone to assist me. First, she patronized me by saying, “I need to check with your mother 1st. We don’t want any problems here”. I responded with, “Mam, you don’t need to check with my mother about anything. I am 23 years old, I have a Driver’s license, & the gentlemen helping her, didn’t speak so much as a hello, or good afternoon to me.” She then followed up with, “Well, still, that’s how we operate here. But if you want I can get my manager.” I think we can already assume what my immediate response was” What is his name? Because I’d like to speak with him myself…” Fifteen minutes later a gentleman came out to “assist me”. Unfortunately, his attitude was even more insulting then hers. He was dismissive, inattentive & reflected discomfort to be in my presence.
After I collected myself outside, I rejoined Lisa (my mother) & her boyfriend. Concurrently this man was confrontational, but in a more direct way. As the 7 hours we spent in this establishment continued, I think what I found the most hurtful, was that my mother acknowledged the level of disrespect they showed me, said she was sorry, but was still eager to purchase a car from them. This was ironic, considering she recently told me, that my intuition was a gift & something I should follow, because it’s what kept me safe over the years. You can imagine my shock, that as my mother, her intuition didn’t convey sooner, that anyplace so obviously lacking in business integrity, & guilty of such a blatant intolerance, are perhaps not the people to purchase a car from.
What insults me the most, is that this particular form of bigotry was coming from a group, primarily African American. Call me crazy, but as a minority myself, I’m usually extra sensitive & understanding to someone apparently “different”; even when it’s not in a custom I can relate to. I don’t understand people who prejudge or “HATE”; especially if they have a personal familiarity with discrimination. By the will of God, I was born & raised in Harlem; effectively making me well versed with this kind of adversity. It’s a consistent struggle, which after 10 years, has not gotten any easier. But I don’t believe that my person, including my ethnicity, sexual orientation, or personality, is by accident. Despite the adversity it carries consequently, I am a reflection of his divine influence. A weekend of conflict & unpleasentrys does not change that. . .In fact, it reaffirms it.